I want to write about something that's been on my mind since speaking at a mental health summit earlier this year—the harmful costs of leaning too heavily on seeking external validation based on productivity.
Here’s the thing, we live in a world where productivity is often hailed as the ultimate measure of success. Now don't get me wrong, being productive is an essential part of our personal and professional development. But when we start to connect our self-worth to how much we produce, we create a big problem for ourselves. When we buy into the belief that we have to earn our place and that we’re only worthy if we’re busy hustling in production mode–that is a setup to keep us exhausted. Having this limited mindset can take us on a journey filled with burnout, stress, and a constant sense of never being "enough."
So while productivity is important, it is still just one piece of the puzzle. Yes, it is essential to acknowledge and celebrate our achievements and all the hard work it took to get us there, but I need to take a moment to remind you that it is equally as important to recognize that our worth extends far beyond our to-do lists and accomplishments.
A high cost to seeking validation elsewhere
I often talk about calculating the cost of being the boss–so here are some gentle reminders of the potential costs of relying too much on external validation .
Burnout: Constantly pushing ourselves to meet unrealistic productivity expectations can leave us feeling drained, overwhelmed, resentful of our work and sick. Nothing, and I do mean nothing is worth sacrificing the well-being of our minds, bodies or souls.
Strained relationships: When we are laser-focused on productivity, we may inadvertently neglect our relationships with friends, family and ourselves. It's crucial to cultivate balance in our routines that allows us to nurture both our professional and personal lives.
Diminished creativity: Creativity thrives in moments of rest and relaxation. When we're constantly in "go mode," our creative vibes slow down bigtime. Embrace downtime and allow yourself the space to recharge—it might just lead to your next innovative solution for your audience.
Stunted growth: True growth and learning come from a place of curiosity and exploration, not just ticking items off a to do list. Don't be afraid to venture into uncharted territory and embrace the journey of discovery, even if it means taking a detour from the path of productivity.
Like I wrote in the BOSS™ Manifesto:
Burnout is not my final destination.
I’m confident that you feel the same way and that the idea of jacked up relationships, overbooked schedules and standing in your own way aren’t part of your long term strategy either. So let’s not fall into the trap of putting too much weight into seeking external validation to affirm our worth. Instead, let’s collectively remember that our worth is not tied to our productivity. We are valuable, worthy, and already enough simply because of who we are—not because of what we do.
Mindset shifts for embracing your inherent value
And as we get into the habit of affirming the truth about our worth to ourselves, I want to share some transformative mindset shifts to help you resist the need to seek validation outside of yourself. Because when it comes to your worth–you don’t have a damn thing to prove.
Shift your focus: Instead of seeking validation from others, create the practice of validating yourself. Recognize that your worth is not determined by external achievements or the opinions of others. Instead, cultivate self-awareness and practice self-compassion, acknowledging your strengths, accomplishments and unique contributions.
Embrace your perfect imperfection: Free yourself from the expectation to be perfect and embrace yourself for who you are. Understand that perfection is unattainable and often comes at the expense of genuine connection and growth. Embrace your flaws, vulnerabilities, and mistakes as opportunities for learning and personal growth. Authenticity is your greatest strength.
Prioritize fulfillment: Shift your focus from external markers of success to inner fulfillment. True fulfillment comes from living a life in alignment with your values, passions, and purpose. Cultivate routines that nourish your mind, body, and soul–the S.P.A. Method™ that I wrote about in The BOSS™ Shift is a great way to implement those routines.
Making these shifts will help us create balance between our ambition and well-being as we embrace celebrating our achievements and acknowledging our own worth, resilience and the beautiful complexities that make us who we are.
Remember, your worth is not defined by what you do or achieve, but by who you are at your core—an extraordinary woman with limitless potential and a value that surpasses understanding.
I'm La'Vista and I help professional and entrepreneurial women create balance between their ambition and wellbeing by leveraging systemization and self-care. I specialize in working with women that feel suffocated in their own lives and need techniques and support to start breathing again and living life on their own terms. Could you use some breathing room in your life? I’d love to connect with you - schedule a call here.
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